On Wednesday I got my year 3 test results and I’m thankful to say all is looking normal. Understandably people were encouraging me to celebrate and yet, although naturally I was delighted to hear that, I was surprised I didn’t want to “celebrate”. I don’t think Rich, my husband, felt like it either. You see at the very moment I hear the results, I also realise I will never go back to the person I was before being diagnosed with breast cancer . We will never be totally free from the fear of it returning. I may look the same on the outside but I am different. It’s not bad but every now and again that cancer word gets a hold of me physically and emotionally and I can’t get away from it. I want to be able to hear the word without flinching. I would also like to be free of some of the hormone therapy side effects!! The fact is, like grief, you don’t move on from a diagnosis of cancer, you move forward with it. Anyway I just leant into the feeling and let it be. I had read a quote the other day which said something like “The best thing to do when it is raining, is let it rain!”
Thursday and I am in a totally different place, thankful, grateful and looking forward and ready to celebrate life. I’m just thinking about what life throws at us and how there are so many lessons.
#1 No matter how you are feeling, let it be, this too shall pass. Acknowledge it, don’t plaster a no entry sign over it or try to put your positive head on . Just let it be, it just needs some time and another wave will come, hopefully a better one.
#2 You will receive a body … you may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period you’re around so I suggest you get to love it and take care of it, outside and in.
#3 You will learn lessons… You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them too hard , irrelevant and stupid.
#4 There are no mistakes, only lessons… Growth is a process of trial and error, obstacles and set backs. No matter what your circumstances you can learn to thrive again.The “Failures and Setbacks ” are as much a part of the process as things that work and go well. Like a lotus flower we too have the ability to rise from the mud, bloom out of the darkness and radiate into the world.
#5 A lesson is repeated until learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson. It took me a while to really learn the lesson of self care. I knew it but maybe didn’t practice it.
#6 Learning lessons does not end… There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.
#7 “THERE” is no better than “HERE”… When your “There” has become a “Here”, you will simply obtain another “There” that will, again, look better than “Here”. Be happy where you are NOW.
#8 What you make of your life is up to you. No-one else is going to waken up and dedicate their life to your happiness. The good news … You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
#9 Your answers lie inside you . You are enough. The answers to life’s questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust.
#10 You will forget all this … unless you figure out how you want to live your one and only life in a way that counts for you. Happiness is an inside job! So if between getting up in the morning and going to bed you are living how you want, then that’s success.
#11 And one final lesson, I’m mostly thinking Life is precious, live it and cherish every moment!